


Violet Sky for the Crying Heart

by eenkhjin



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Light Angst, M/M, Malec, Not really romance... for now?, Slow Build, Unrealistic physics and astronomy, sort of...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 10:23:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11507451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eenkhjin/pseuds/eenkhjin
Summary: No matter what, all Alec wants to do is save his family, his people, even if everything seems to be going against him. All he can do is keep going and find his Lilith.





	Violet Sky for the Crying Heart

**Author's Note:**

> AN#1: I’ve hit a wall with my other story... So to take my mind off of this nightmare in my head I’m writing this story! I got inspired by the amazing umkasandiary on Tumblr and the breathtaking drawings we get blessed with. The Space AU for #Malecweek2017 (July 7th) made my heart do things that I wasn’t prepared for... I asked for a permission to write the story and used her words and plot. Hope I do it justice! 
> 
> AN#2: This is a sci-fi story, the science and logic behind many things here may not always apply to our world(?) so kindly go along with the crazy =_=. So, the planet at the beginning of the story has 24 hours/day, 500 days/year, no seasons, no months, and the year system “restarted” when they arrived there... if that makes sense. So instead of 2017 the story begins with the year 376! Humans have lived on that planet for 376 years! Yup! Fantasy! Isn’t it wonderful! Oh, and I suck at editing my own work so probs many errors... Enjoy!

 

***

[21:25, Day 7, 376 NM]

“Mom, what’s this planet?” Alec’s voice carried the excitement he always had whenever his mother had some precious time to spare right before the boy’s bedtime. Maryse, still fully clothed in her work dress, hair and makeup meticulously done even this late at night, leaned little into her son’s space to see exactly where the child was pointing to. 

“Ah, it’s Lilith, dear.” She spoke with as much wonder as her son looked. “Your father had searched for this planet for years now, but he couldn’t find it.” 

“Father was looking for it? Why?” Alec ran his fingers over the illustration of what the planet could look like, eyes taking in all the colors jumping out of the page covered in the blackness of the universe. 

“It’s an amazing planet, Alec. The sky is violet there, the air is crystal clear. People of Lilith are immortal.” With each spoken word, Alec’s eyes grew bigger than before, a little spark inside of the boy expanding greater than imaginable. “They have sparkling skin and kind hearts. They can even read minds and cure any diseases.” 

“Any diseases?” The boy was ready to jump out of his bed, sleep long forgotten. 

“That’s what people say.” The woman chuckled softly at her son’s excitement and wasn’t all that surprised when Alec did jump out of his bed, covers kicked off onto the floor with a pair of small feet following it soon after. Alec pushed the book onto his mother’s hands and stood up straight.

“Then I’ll find it! When I become a Fleet Commander, I’m going up into space, I’ll find Lilith and help many people!”

Maryse fondly looked on as her son nodded his head with a determined look. She was glad to have this precious time to witness her son be a child with dreams and aspiration, so pure and mind free to imagine anything he wanted. 

She watched Alec run up to the massive windows, arms outstretched, his small body looking even smaller in front of the canvas of stars. 

“Space is so large, mom.” She heard Alec whisper, face illuminated by the night sky and eyes untainted by the reality of life. It was during these moments that Maryse wanted to always protect her baby from what was to come as he grew up, to do anything to cherish these moments of his youth and wonder. The boy turned around with a giant smile overtaking his face that made Maryse smile back and nod in encouragement. Even she allowed herself to dream sometimes and she dreamed of her son on a planet looking up at a violet sky, breathing crystal clear air, with someone by his side that made her son smile. 

 

***

 

[18:39, Day 427, 393 NM]

Alec Lightwood grew up on Planet NYI in Nebucula Minor, a dwarf galaxy by the Milky Way. It had been centuries since the planet had been colonized by the human race and by the time Alec was born, the planet had become one of the major hubs in the known Universe. 

He had learned a great deal about the home planted which his race had originated from, but Planted NYI had always been the only place he truly knew of and called his home. The Lightwood family had been one of the first humans to colonize the dwarf galaxy and with that knowledge came the fact that Alec’s parents were the leading figures of the human side of the planet. 

Alec grew up upholding his family name, doing everything within his power to do right by his people and family, always striving for the perfection he knew he could reach. His little sister, Isabelle, also took on the responsibilities and was by his side through thick and thin. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately if one asked Alec, their youngest brother Max was still too young to really feel the weight of their family name. 

“Jace, I got your message.” Alec walked into his friend and colleague's office, expecting to see only him but paused at the sight of all the commanding leaders, including his parents, present in the room. “Evening.”

“Commander Lightwood.” A lieutenant by Alec’s side returned his greeting before turning his attention to Jace. 

The young Commander of the Third Fleet spared a quick glance towards Alec before addressing the crowd.

“Thank you everyone for coming here on such short notice. As my message stated, my fleet returned along with the Second Fleet under Commander Fairchild,” Jace acknowledged the woman standing by his side who also quickly greeted the crowd, “and the rumors are true.” 

A sudden tension grew in the room, whispers heard from all four corners that made Alec’s chest tighten. He knew of Jace and Clary’s mission, he had been the one who assigned them the task and the quick return of their fleets ment one of two things. By the looks of the two commanders, Alec could easily guess it was the worst of the two possibilities. 

“Spheroidal Galaxy has fallen. All the inhabited planets in the Ursa Minor Dwarf, as stated in the emergency pod we received four months ago, was under attack by a biological virus. From what we were able to procure, no living planet was spared and those who were able to escape the epidemic are within the entry distance of our galaxy. Commander Fairchild and I do not have the jurisdiction to make the call to allow survivors to enter.”

“What in the name of Nebula can overtake an entire galaxy?”

“We cannot allow some individuals to enter here! Just because they survived doesn’t mean they’re not carrying the disease!” 

“But we can’t just turn our backs on our allies!”

“There won’t be any need for allies when we’re all dead!”

“Do we even have the resources to support all the new arrivals? There are other galaxies they can seek help from!” 

Alec took a deep breath. The panic around the room was expected and he could just imagine the view in front of him amplified, brought to insanity once the public got the wind of the news. 

Alec slowly breathed out, keeping his exhale even, feeling his heartbeat in the tips of his fingers. He was raised and groomed for this moment. He felt his parents’ eyes on him and he knew it was time. With practiced ease, he sent a quick message, eyes never leaving the commotion before him.

Jace nodded once Alec got close enough, eyes thanking his friend for all he’d done so far and doing the same for Clary. He took another deep breath and held himself solid in front of the room, slowly scanning the crowd. 

It took less than a minute for everyone to notice the young man standing before them, features carefully schooled into a neutral expressing, a sense of dread and possible doom for their planet nowhere found on his face or body. The room went silent once again. 

“We must be quick and decisive from this point on. We do not know what had caused the epidemic and it would be not wise to jump to conclusions. The moment we received the messenger pod months ago, I’ve been carefully planning the steps that must be made incase this was the outcome, unfortunately.” 

Alec’s eyes moved to the door he had came through to see his sister enter with a serious look and a briefcase.

“Under instructions, Commander Herondale has left all the Explorer Ships under his command at the outskirts of the galaxy, where I presume the survivors are waiting for our response, to conduct research of what they were able to retrieve from infected planets and have all witnesses report of what they can share about the disease. In the meantime, we don’t know if we’re at a risk so all neighboring planets and galaxies have been informed of the predicament we are in. I’m still waiting for reports from them and I pray that they are all safe and unharmed.”

Izzy placed the briefcase on the desk by Alec and handed him a tablet while connecting the necessary cables for the report. With a final check, Izzy nodded and the prepared report was presented to all in attendance with Alec easily maneuvering the documents through his tablet.

“On our front, all the MGC Carriers are almost fully prepped and ready to host our people incase of an emergency evacuation. The hospitals have been put on alert for an unidentified threat, they all believe it’s a drill but that can be quickly changed. Our citizens will be told the truth of what could happen. And yes,” he raised his hand once he felt the upcoming retorts, “I’m aware of the panic and confusion this will cause.

“However, I’m a strong believer in having everyone being informed and prepared for when we do really need to get into action and not have anyone caught off guard. We can prepare as much as we want from our side; however, in order to survive, we need all the help and participation from our people. They too can prepare and when we do have to flee, they will bring the necessities for survival, that way our resources can last longer.”

Alec took another breath, seeking approval from Izzy because even though he had planned this all out, it still felt surreal that he was in the position of holding lives of millions of individuals. Izzy sent him a quick smile. That was enough. 

“The report I’m showing you all, one that I will be sending to you promptly after this meeting, will have all the detailed explanations of what I went over and further steps we must take as the leading heads of our race on this small planet. I can’t say what will happen in the future but all we can do now is focus on the present and take it day by day, ensure that we are as prepared as possible for a future that might not even happen if we are all lucky. Many eons ago our ancestors left planet Earth with the drive to survive and we still have the same blood running within us. No matter what, we must take our fates into our hands and fight till the end.”

He looked around the room one final time, eyes meeting faces of uncertainty but no more fear was seen and that was a step towards the right direction.

“I may be the elected Commander of our Planet NYI but I’m nothing without you all. Have faith in me now as I have in you.” Alec’s parents looked back at him with pride as he spoke his carefully chosen words. “I promise to fight till the very end.”

 

***

 

[04:20, Day 486, 393 NM]

Alec slammed the report down on his desk, chest rising and falling with heated breaths. He couldn’t believe what was happening. Everything had been going to plan, almost too perfectly that Alec wondered if something was up, or if it all was going to blow up in his face. And at the end it really did, Alec concluded, as he read through the report again for the tenth time. 

“We don’t have time.” Grand Marshall Luke Garroway urged the Commander who had not spoken since he received the report. Izzy, Jace and Clary all stood by Alec’s desk, all waiting for his command.

Except, Alec didn’t know what his command was anymore. He had, they all had planned for the worst but this was a nightmare breathing to life, taking giant steps right towards Alec, eyes locked on to kill.

“How fast is it spreading?” 

“We can’t tell precisely, but it’s almost exponential. The growth, I mean.” Luke’s tired voice did not help Alec feel any sense of protection from the leader of their army. “As you commanded, nothing came back from the outlying ships and there’s no way a biological virus could survive long enough to travel the distance to reach our planet. The possibility of it being here in the first place doesn’t even make sense but it is! And it’s spreading. We can’t contain it.”

“We have to start evacuating!” Clary spoke up.

“That’s the problem,” Luke addressed the redhead this time, shoulders deflating ever so slightly. “We can’t tell who’s infected or not. There’s no center to this spread. Someone randomly shows symptoms and within minutes they are overtaken by the virus. We don’t know how to organize this.”

Alec nodded, mind racing with millions of possible routes he could select from and knowing that his decision could be the one to kill them all. However, it was also risky to not do anything and with that final thought he looked up to meet his colleagues, friends and family’s  expectant eyes.

“I have a plan but many are not going to be happy with it.” 

Jace stepped up, eyes locking with Alec’s.

“I trust you.”

Alec nodded and the order to save or kill them all was finally given. 

 

***

 

[06:51, Day 486, 393 NM]

“Alec!”

“Mom!” Alec ran through the main doors to his parents residence, eyes instantly scanning the woman for any telltale signs of the disease. He sighed in relief when he found nothing but soon noticed that his father and brother were not with the woman. 

“Where are Max and dad?” 

Maryse’s face dropped at the mentioning of their names. A sudden dread almost knocked Alec but he willed himself to remain calm for his mother’s sake. The woman shook her head, hands coming up to her mouth. 

“Mom?” Alec tried with a gentle tone. 

“Max is safe, he's fine! But your father...” 

The young commander nodded. Everyone around him was losing important people to them, he wasn't and shouldn't be an exception to that, no matter how much he had prayed that everyone stayed safe. 

“We need to leave now. My fleet ships are inspecting everyone in the town square and will be leaving promptly. Izzy and the others are safe. We must hurry. Where's Max?”

Maryse walked further into the house, grabbing an emergency bag she had prepared and leading the way towards the younger boy’s bedroom. 

“When you father got infected, Max was so traumatized that I had to... well.” She opened the door and Alec saw his brother blissfully sleeping on his bed among all the plushies Alec and Izzy lovingly imposed on him. 

“You sedated him?”

His mother nodded and Alec couldn't find it in himself to be mad at her. He was actually glad, this way Max won't have to witness the chaos that's right outside the main doors. 

They checked for anything else they could pack and were out of the house as quickly as Alec had arrived. For a second there, inside confined walls, it was so easy to ignore what was waiting for them outside, but one couldn't forget reality. Ever. 

Alec held tightly into his still sleeping brother in his arms and consistently looked back to check that his mother was keeping up with him. They managed to not ponder upon the bodies covering the city streets, saying silent prayers for them all. 

Once the blinding lights of his fleet ships were seen behind tall buildings, Alec felt a sense of relief. He had entertained the idea of his fleet escaping without him and that simple thought made his heart speed up along with his feet, but the slightest presence of the ships was a welcome comfort in this time of madness. 

Unfortunately, the moment they rounded a building towards the city square where the massive ships were in plain view, they were struck by the sight in front of them. 

Maryse’s hand grasped onto Alec’s arm and held on tight. His own grip tightened around his brother, as if his mortal body could be enough of a shield to protect Max. 

First Fleet soldiers had done an amazing work at blockading the ships with massive fences that would put any prison to shame. If Alec didn't know of the amount of force the steel could take, he might have been a little worried about the massive body mass that was pressed up to it, some, out of desperation, even attempting to climb the structure with their dying bodies. 

He led his mother and brother towards the front of the ships where things looked a little more organized. His team had made a clearing, heavily guarded and quarantined, where they were checking all non symptom shoving individuals in hopes to save as many as they can. It was under Alec’s orders to be as thorough as possible and emotionally strong when they have to deny access to many hopeful citizens. 

Izzy was spotted, in her biohazard suit, doing her best to keep every moving parts in top condition, keeping order in Alec’s place. The swarm of people waiting to be tested in hopes to have their lives saved was disheartening. Alec would have allowed every single one of them onto his ships if he could, but he couldn’t risk those on board just because his heart ached for all.

“Mom, I see Izzy, we can skip the line over here.” He said and blindly grabbed for his mother’s hand that was no longer holding onto his arm. 

However, when he felt her presence pull away from him, he turned to face the women that he loved and wanted to protect crying while clutching onto her own arm. 

“Mom?”

She shook her head and took another step back, further breaking her son’s unstable beating heart. She finally met his scared eyes and uncovered her arm to show the one thing Alec dreaded seeing since he first saw her. Rotting flesh. 

“I’m sorry, Alec.” She whispered out and stepped back.

“Mom... what... no...” His body reacted on its own, hand reaching out for the woman who looked more scared of her son touching her than the actual sight of her body’s necrosis.

“Please, you must leave.” She finally said after staring at her son’s face then looking at the younger one in his arms. Her eyes cried out for her boys, the mother in her wanting to hug, kiss, something for a final time. Then she looked over Alec to see her only daughter standing tall among all the men, barking out orders like the leader she was born to be. 

Alec felt many things at that moment; however, the loudest emotion that overtook his head was regret. Regret of not saving his mother, his father, his family. Regret of allowing things to come to this point, even if he didn’t have any power to control any of this, he still felt responsible. Regret of not realizing what it truly ment of not having his parents with him anymore.     

“Your brother and sister.” Maryse gently smiled at the sleeping boy and then at the young woman in the distance. “Your people.” She took in the view of the massive fleet ships that would be taking her children away. “Please, protect them.” She finally looked to Alec, who’s eyes had been searching for his mother's. Dreading the words that she was painfully speaking. “My Alexander.”

She whispered it as a goodbye and as if faith was trying to hit the point across, soldiers came from behind Alec, urging their commanding officer to get to safety. Alec felt the tears threatening to show exactly how he felt, how tired and done he was; however, maybe it was his pride or maybe the strong smile pulling on his mother’s ruby lips willed him to not shed anything. 

With a final look, he maneuvered through the masses and entered the quarantine area, coming face to face with Isabelle. His beautiful sister spotted Max in Alec’s arms and her attention was right behind the older man, seeking, searching for people she had the right to say goodbyes to but was robbed of the moment. Alec blamed himself for that too. 

“Mom...” Izzy mouthed. Alec shook his head, eyes downcast. 

He didn’t know how to face his sister. He couldn’t even begin imagining the things running through the girl’s mind, the emotions that she had every right to feel. However, in a split second, bare arms no longer covered in biohazard suit was encircling the Lightwood brothers. Izzy was so close to them, head gently falling over her younger brother’s, Alec could smell his sister’s perfume through all the death in the air and he almost allowed himself to finally cry. 

“Commander!” A ship master ran up to the trio, breath coming out strained. “We must leave! The other fleets have airborne and waiting for your instructions.”

Alec nodded and smiled down at his sister, a fleeting smile, but a smile nonetheless. They instructed everyone to complete their tasks, trying so hard to ignore the desperate looks from those who weren’t allowed on board. Alec felt like if he looked, he would find his mother, looking back at them with that smile still on her face, and that would break him completely. 

Within twenty minutes, the gates were all airsealed, pressure stabilized and oxygen filters activated, engines checked and ready for take off. The young commander’s body was in complete autopilot. It moved him where he needed to be, mouth shouting orders and conversing with other fleet commanders. Yet, nothing was registering. He felt nothing. He thought nothing. All Alec was at that moment, standing tall and looking composed, was empty. 

 

***

 

[4 Days Since Departure(DSD)]

“The sun flairs? Isn’t that... too coincidental? Both galaxies?” Jace agitatedly tapped his fingers on the long table in the conference hall that was filled with all the commanding heads of each fleet. Twenty-four Fleet Ships, each supporting somewhere between 1-2 million passengers and workers, were all suspended just outside of their galaxy.

An urgent meeting was called and Alec found his ship, the biggest of them all, hosting the gathering that would map out the future of their people. Scientists and doctors who had been working on the unknown outbreak on their planet all had moved to his ship, doing their best to finish their study and report their findings. 

Alec got news only hours before the meeting was called that the scientists finally had a breakthrough and an understanding of what had gone wrong. It was only fair to share the knowledge with everyone and here they were, in disbelief of what these men and women in white suits were telling them.

“Yes,” Dr. Maia Roberts, the Leading Head of Infectious Disease and Control Center, addressed Jace with a stern look, “both our galaxy and Ursa Minor Dwarf had similar parameters when comparing suns and the overall gravitational physics. This was one of the reasons why many planets who had no contact with one another were all infected with the same virus. We believe the flares are on a different wave spectrum and thus none of our equipments detected the rays infiltrating our atmospheres. However, no one accounted for the amount of damage the waves caused on the basic genome, thus having an exponential necrosis externally and internally on the biological body.”

Dr. Roberts continued her report with pictures from the experiments her team had been conducting. “As you can see here, the virus did not discriminate between a plant based genome or that of a human. It targeted at the most basic level and it, unfortunately, took us too many days to create a device to finally detect the new wavelength emitted by our suns.”

“So what do we conclude from this?” General Santiago from Clary’s fleet spoke up.

“We can conclude that now we know which galaxies are at danger from this new waves their suns emit. A single star in the galaxy can affect all the solar systems, creating an unbalanced environment. This means that we cannot be within their gravitational pull or else we too, even from outside the system, will be affected again.”

“But the question remains, is it infectious? Is there a way to know if someone on the ships have this genomic anomaly and be a potential threat?”

The doctor sighed, slightly leaning onto the podium she was standing behind. 

“We believe it is not infectious, unfortunately, we haven’t figured out how to detect it. There’s no specific genetic code this virus attaches to or changes our genomes into. The randomness factor in all of this is, well... random. Nothing confidently conclusive can be made.”  

“Then the only thing we must do now is to find a new place to host our people, have we heard back from our allies?” Alec heard someone ask and he looked up from reading the report to answer the question.

“We’ve received clearances to enter many systems, Leo A, NGC 147, Cassiopeia Dwarf and many more.”

“That’s decided then! We must go to one of those and check if they’re at risk and if not, then we shall land there!” Hopeful voices spoke up. Alec shook his head.

“Many of the galaxies I’ve mentioned are within 2 million light years away. We must be smart about how realistic it would be to reach our allies. I need reports of all our resources on all 24 fleets, we must make sure that we can survive long enough to reach the nearest habitable planet.”

“Of course,” Meliorn, a representative of Feire race that cohabited Planet NYI along sides with humans, agreed with Alec. “Being on a ship increases the likelihood of illnesses and injuries. There may rise tensions among the travelers from all the physiological and psychological changes.”

“Many of the people here have never traveled for longer than a couple of months. It will take us close to five years to reach the nearest habitable ally so we must do everything in our power to make the trip as comfortable as possible. These people have just gone through a traumatic event, we must be cautious from now on.” Izzy said and saw everyone agree with her. 

Everyone in the hall looked grayer, tired, and hopeless. Alec expected as much but they didn’t have the pleasure of feeling down if they wanted to keep their people sane and safe. He needed to reach safety as soon as possible and give everyone a chance to mourn for their losses and heal from the past couple of days. 

“The mission remains. We will travel to our closest ally. I expect reports of all resources sent to me in no less than six hours. Any form of emergency must be reported to me immediately and I ask the Feire to moderate the masses for the next couple years. Dismissed.” 

 

***

 

[29 DSD]

Alec looked out into the darkness of the space. They were two elliptical galaxies within ten days distance from their current stop point; however, it was reported that none of the solar systems had habitable planets for them to land on. Now, the entire fleet was once again getting ready for their long travel to the next system in hopes for a new home. 

Even though it had been no more than 30 days since they left Planet NYI, it felt like a year for Alec. Not only did he have everyone breathing down his neck, asking him to be the rock for millions of people which took a toll more greater than he had signed up for, but Max had not been taking the news of their parents death all too well. Izzy did her best to explain but he couldn't leave all the heavy lifted on her shoulders, so he had been making a point in having a family time before lights are called off on the ship. 

Watching one's brother cry was never easy; however, watching him cry for ten days in a row, cry himself until he's so tired that he involuntarily falls asleep was even worse. Even his sister, even though she said she was okay, was obviously affected by their little brother's sadness. It was beginning to affect Alec too. 

His sole mission now was to find a land and give his siblings time to heal and return back to their old selves. That was all he could do and the last thing he had promised his mother. 

Alec's intercom buzzed and he saw a message from Izzy asking about dinner. He smiled down at the message and quickly replied back with an answer and a “be there soon.” He made sure all reports were submitted and prioritized, next galaxy coordinates approved, before leaving his office with a last glance at the specks of light scattered in the universe.       

***

 

“Wouldn't that be fun?” 

Alec nodded in agreement to his sister's request for the three of them to visit other fleet ships to meet up with their friends. Alec assumed it was to get Max socializing again amongst their group of friends so that he doesn't feel locked up inside the sterilized white walls with filtered oxygen. At least it'll be sterilized white walls with filtered oxygen  _ and  _ people other than Alec and Izzy. 

“I'll arrange a pod tomorrow and inform our friends of our visit. Sounds good?” Alec asked Max who was slowly making his way through his soup. 

The youngest of the three nodded without looking at his brother. For a moment Alec wondered if he was coming down with something or simply heartbroken. It was probably the latter. 

“Here, let me.” Alec joined his sister at the small area that was their kitchen for the time being. 

Izzy thanked him and continued preparing their main course while Alec washed up all the dirtied pots and dishes. They worked like the perfect team, not needing to say anything but knowing exactly what needed to be done. 

Alec wondered what his life would be like without his little sister and the conclusion he could safely make was that he would be nothing like the man he had grown up to be. He may be the rock of his people but Izzy was his. 

Izzy placed the garnish on their meals, the final touch, with a content smile and gestured for Alec to leave the dishes and eat his food. Alec nodded but he was almost done, one more plate and he could relax for the night. Unfortunately, no rest was destined for that night. For many nights to come. 

It all happened with a loud bang, the sound of metal plates hitting the floor vibrating through the room, Alec’s reflexes sprung around to witness Izzy rush to catch Max’s falling body. 

Then he heard his sister repeat small no’s under her breath, shaky hand running over Max’s body, mind solely focused on the boy in front of her. Alec’s body moved before he could fully understand what had just happened. As he got closer, breathing got much harder and he felt like shouting. He wanted to yell and ask why, why was this happening. 

Did faith not think he had enough challenges? Was it testing him? Punishing him?

“I don’t understand.” Is all he mustered out, as Izzy’s tear drenched face turned to him with angered eyes. 

“What is there to understand!” Ever since the devastation began, this was the first time Isabella had raised her voice. “It doesn’t matter anymore!”

Alec saw Max’s hands, holes forming at the knuckles and joints, death spreading over his body. The boy was breathing shallow, perspiration forming over his forehead and neck. 

As a commander, Alec should be calling this in, informing everyone of what was going on. However, to his own surprise, he didn’t want to let anyone know. He was scared of what they would do to his brother once they realize he was sick. Would they allow him to stay on board or deem him dangerous and not worth risking the millions of people on the ship? Or will they quarantine him, run tests and experiments? Would they expect Alec to make those calls?

“Alec...” Alec came back to his senses when he heard Izzy. Her voice sounded so small and so scared. He stepped closer to his siblings, trying to be useful, when he stopped cold. 

Izzy was looking down at her own hand, visibly shaking, with a deep black mark radiating out, killing any cell in its way. She looked at Alec. 

The Commander of First Fleet had a new mission. He was to no longer find a viable planet to host his people, his friends, his family. He was now to find a way to save the remaining members of his family from dying. 

 

***

 

[463 DSD]

“Please, Alec, we need to land somewhere.” Alec heard Jace say.

“Our resources are depleting fast. I don’t know how much fuel we can spare... for search missions anymore.” Clary added on. 

“Many are beginning to question your ability to lead.” 

Alec turned to face the group of people in his office, all staring back at him with tired and pleading looks. Alec knew. He knew that the most realistic solution at this point was to listen to the others and find what they needed. A planet to land on and hopefully to restart their lives, instead of floating in the endless space till their death. 

However, he was being selfish. That was all there was to it. 

They had left their planet but they couldn’t escape the horror. After Max and Izzy came down with the virus, others also began showing signs and the clinics on all the fleet ships were soon overflowing with degrading bodies. But they were still alive. That's all that was important. 

The scientists on board, with their extensive study and research they’ve done on the outbreak, were able to slow down the degeneration process and keep the ill living longer than anyone had hoped for. 

It was at that moment that Alec had made up his mind to do the unthinkable. 

He was going to find Lilith. 

Actually, the thought to search for the most fabled planet in the entire universe came to him one night when Alec was by his siblings side, watching them barely cling onto their lives. He could hear his mother’s words echo in the depths of his mind, rekindling the fantastical fire younger Alec had burning years ago, filling him with a strange sense of hope that he had wished to not feel again. He wasn’t ready to be hit with any more disappointments.

However, after reconsidering his options, Alec thought, “why not?” and began his long battle to convince the rest of his leading heads to see his plans through. Soon, search pods were sent out to all the suspected galaxies and the waiting game began. 

Days went by. 

Alec felt his heart shatter a little bit more with each unsuccessful search and the sight of his siblings, their bodies dying inside out, outside in, was too much for him to see. He had locked himself in the study, going through all the saved research his father had done so many years ago, electronical and paper versions of anything and everything on Lilith became his life. 

Jace, his closest and most trustworthy ally became the unofficial stand in for Alec’s position. No one asked questions and just silently accepted that their elected head had become dangerously obsessed with finding something that most likely didn’t even exist. 

Those around Alec that were still well and living, for the most part, were beginning to worry and question his mental state. Many deemed him unfit to lead, having his entire family taken from him was enough of an excuse for majority to forgive Alec’s madness, but they looked for more realistic answers to their problems. 

Alec knew this all too well. He was desperate, not stupid. But in the end of the day, space turned out to be so large. And so empty.

“I must help them... I must save them...” Alec began mumbling under his breath, mind and eyes buried in research. 

Dr. Roberts cautiously approached the usually stoic man who now looked like he had been locked up in a mental asylum. “Commander, I can continue your part. You need rest.”

Alec, finally after a long silence, acknowledged the woman with a hard stare. He wasn’t being fair, she had been more than happy to assist him with his search and was doing her part to find Lilith more than anyone else around him. 

“I’m fine.” 

The doctor stood her ground and returned the hard look with more authority, placing her hands in front of Alec, covering the work he had been looking at. 

“I speak as your doctor.”

Alec opened his mouth to retort back, his already short temper was not going to hold anything back from having a subordinate talk down to him, but a sudden entrance of another broke both of their growing temper. 

Jace was breathing hard, hand clutching onto a tablet and eyes wild with something. He almost yelled when he finally spoke.

“Alec, you have to see this!”

The urgency in his voice was enough and Alec was rushing past his study doors with Dr. Roberts and Jace hot on his heels. The Command Station was directly connected to Alec’s study and the three found themselves staring up at the monitors, all showing one thing. 

A search pod had sent them the recent planet it had passed and it was a sight to behold. It was like nothing Alec had ever seen, with it’s tint of blue and violet, surrounded by a strange gas cloud that was blocking any clear view of the mass inside of it. 

“The pod reported that it wasn’t able to get close to the planet for more clear images. It’s like the planet has a force field around it or something. No samples were collected and these are the most high definition pictures we received.” Jace read from his tablet with an amazed look on his face. He looked to Alec for further instructions.

“Pull up fuel data for all fleets along with this new planet’s stats.” Alec’s voice boomed out, his request complete in a split second. He looked over the information on the monitors and nodded. “I’ve put everyone through enough already and for that, this will be my final command as the Commander of First Fleet and our people.”

There were whispers heard around the room and Jace fully turned towards Alec with a confused look. Alec simply continued.

“Those directly under my fleet command will, unfortunately, have little say in this and will assist me till the end. All healthy citizens on First Fleet ship will be transported to other ships. In exchange, all infected patients will be boarding here. We must make lower three levels of this ship ready to sustain the ill and their medical equipments. With the remaining fuel on this ship, First Fleet will make the journey to this new planet.” 

He felt his breath hitch at his own plan but he had to do it. “If it’s not Lilith, the other fleets here will continue our previous mission of finding a sustainable planet and once they complete it, rescue fleets will be sent to our ship and retrieve all who are still alive. If this planet,” Alec pointed at the distorted image in front of him, “is Lilith, then I will do everything in my power to save our ill and we shall plan from there, hopefully resupply and find another planet if Lilith wishes to not become our home.”

He turned to Jace, who's eyes were swimming with emotions. Alec could tell that the commander within Jace was battling it out with the side that was Alec’s friend, trying to remain professional while still feeling pain for his friend. Alec understood the feeling. 

“Commander Herondale, you are officially the new Head and will be so until I personally confirm of Lilith’s discovery. I know you will lead our people to safety if things don’t go according to plan.”

Jace straightened up, years of military training showing its wonders as the man saluted his commander and accepted the order. Alec returned the formal gesture, with a fleeting smile. He then turned back to face the mystery planet, eyes pleading the faiths to finally let him breath.

 

***

 

[586 DSD]

“My God...” Dr. Roberts whispered.

The whole crew at the Command Center were on their feet, eyes glued onto the view in front of them. If a fire broke out, no one would've move a muscle, their minds overtaken by the wonder that was the planet they’ve been traveling days for. 

Alec shook his head, unsure of what to make of everything. Just as the pictures they’ve seen, the planet looked like it was changing color every time he blinked, the massive gas clouds around it visibly moving, swirling, and pulling him in. 

“What is our position?” Alec finally broke the silence.

“Relative velocity, ten meters/second, but sir, we do not know this planet’s gravitational pull. The search pod was not successful in entering its atmosphere.”

“I’m aware, thank you.” Alec walked behind a control panel as the crew member behind the controller made room for him. “I’m taking a pod with few crew members to try to enter.”

“Sir...” 

Alec did not hesitate anymore. He ignored all requests to reconsider and made his way down to where all the pods were held. Four other members, all elite explorers, were right behind him when they took off, all doing their parts to not kill themselves. 

However, the closer they got to the planet, the easier it got, entering the planet’s atmosphere had been the simplest he had ever done in all the years he flew. It was nothing like what the search pod had reported back to them. It was like the planet itself was welcoming them in. 

Once they were within the gravitational pull, the air around them was so bright that the crew members had to solely rely on their equipment to maneuver their landing. It felt like they were flying directly towards a sun, without the heat.

“Engines turned off.” 

“Depleting breaks.”

“Thermal protection stable.”

“Velocity status. M, 21.”

“Maneuvering prepared.”

“M, 19.”

“Keep it steady.”

“M, 17. The planet’s ground has been detected.”

“Modify.”

“M, 13.”

Alec kept looking up, even though he knew he would see nothing. He needed to be fully concentrated on landing the pod instead of the planet they were approaching. However, he couldn’t help himself. 

“M, 9.”

They were almost there, almost to the end. That was all Alec could think about. Unfortunately, the small voice in the back of his mind, the one that had been growing louder ever since he left his home planet, kept reminding him of reality.

“M, 7.”

It kept chanting the one thing Alec refused to hear at the moment. 

“M, 5. Entering hypersonic.”

It kept saying that Alec was simply dreaming. Lilith was only a dream, something only a child would believe in. Max, a child stronger than anyone, fighting for his life, would even know how stupid Alec was for getting his hopes up.

“M, 2. Transonic.” 

His family was dying, all would be dead soon. Even Alec. 

“M, 1. Prepare for landing.”

“Land detected, preparing for landing.”

He was a dead man walking, hoping. Alec would join his parents soon.

“No visuals, scanning for clearing.”

“Ready for landing. Sir.”

Alec shook his head, willing all the thoughts to stop. He needed to concentrate. 

“Clearing sighted.”

“All units prepare for landing,” Alec said, carefully monitoring his speed and latitude, “drag brakes activating... now!”

The sudden force pushed all air out of Alec’s chest, making the hard landing seem like nothing compared to getting his breath back and stable. All five crew members exhaled in unison once they registered that they had landed and were still alive. 

However, the blinding light the planet was emitting when entering hadn’t stopped one bit, making it impossible for Alec to see what was outside their ship and where they were. 

“Oxygen detected. 28%, pretty high.” A woman right by Alec continued to monitor the unknown planet. 

“None known toxins in air. All at safe level.”

“Let’s hope so.” A man at the very end of their controls made a comment in hopes to lighten up the heaviness inside the ship. 

Alec was the first one to have his suit on, oxygen mask filled and ready for what was waiting for him behind the doors, keeping his past from his future. With a deep breath of the filtered oxygen, Alec exited the pod.

_ It’s an amazing planet, Alec.  _

His mother’s voice echoed when Alec took his first look at the new planet. He stopped and simply took it all in. 

_ The sky is violet there... _

He looked up and couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The sky was a soft lilac color with stars visible seen even though two suns were lighting everything up. The massive gas cloud around the planet looked like gentle breeze from where Alec was standing. Nothing was what he believed to be real. 

_...the air is crystal clear. _

Without a thought to what could go wrong, Alec reached for his mask and slowly propped it open, leaving it hanging around his neck. He stood there and took a deep breath. There was something sweet about the air, maybe it was because he was locked in a ship for over 500 days or maybe the assault on his senses was doing something to his head. 

“Sir!” He heard someone run up to him, looking extremely concerned. 

“It’s fine, the air is... crystal clear.” 

The others looked at Alec for a moment before removing their own masks. Each member took a deep breath and smiles came to their faces. Alec wondered if he looked like them. Content. 

He walked around his ship, checking the area they’ve landed and couldn’t stop himself from observing all the colorful plants around them, all massive in size, but one feature stood out to him more than anything. Everything, even the ground, seemed to have a strange shine to them, like they were shimmering by the suns’ rays.

All five members froze when they heard a creak from somewhere inside the woods around them. Three of the crew had weapons and came to surround Alec, the fourth got into a defensive stance, ready to take anything on even without a weapon. 

Then, through the bushes and leaves, Alec caught a glimmer of movement. He held his breath as the figure approached them. Finally, after what if felt like ages, Alec’s breath was completely gone when the first person emerged through the woods.   

_ People of Lilith are immortal. They have sparkling skin and kind hearts. _

The man, Alec would guess from his flat chest and strong built, was gorgeous. He was aware that others had emerged after the first man, however, Alec couldn't care less. His eyes were solely on the man in the center.

He could tell that the natives were as colorful as the planet itself, but the man in front of him had golden brown skin, like it was lovingly kissed by the sun, and white, shining marks covered the skin down both his arms and chest. The low hanging teal cover around the man’s waist was fluid, gracefully gliding around his strong legs, making him look like he was floating. However, the most stunning part of the man was his face, perfectly sculpted by his raven hair with blue tips, and those eyes. Alec was seconds away from passing out.

Those eyes were shining like the suns, golden and fierce. The gentle tint of blue around them made his eyes that much more striking. And just like that, their eyes met.   

_ They can even read minds... _

It felt like the man could see through him, those deep golden eyes were reading Alec’s past, present and future, opening the hurt man, piece by piece. The stranger was undoing Alec like no one ever had, bringing all his dream and hopes along with fears and doubts out into the open. Alec’s heart hadn’t hurt like this before, having all the emotions brewing inside of him showed down his throat. 

He felt wetness run down his cheek. That was when Alec knew he was crying. 

All this time, all these days of uncertainty and fear hadn’t been enough to push the man to cry his heart out. He had been strong for his family, his friend, his people, and himself. However, here he was, open and raw for this man to poke at everything. 

He was crying out for one thing.  

_...and cure any diseases. _

Alec’s shaking hands reached out, body moving on its own. But he saw it. He saw the man step out, reach forward, eyes screaming for him. It was a sense of warmth that washed over Alec once their hands touched, the man’s hand much small in his own, black nails clashing with Alec’s sickly pale skin, was strangely comforting. 

With a shaky breath, he brought the hand to his mouth, pulling the man even closer into his space. He could smell the same sweet smell in the air on this man, embracing Alec’s tired body, covering him like a protective blanket he had been seeking all this time. 

He willed himself to open his eyes, tears flooding out, finally allowed to be released along with his emotions that had been screaming inside of him all this time. Those golden eyes were steadily watching him right back, pulling him even closer. 

Alec, finally, after everything, losing his parents, his home planet, his people, and maybe his siblings, whispered out, only for the two of them to hear, the words he had wanted to scream out from the very beginning.

“Please, help me...”

He saw the man lean in even more, full lips grazing over his hands as the man’s velvety voice overtook his senses.

“I will, Alexander.”      

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!! It's long... I know... and just kind of ends? So I think I'm going to write a continuation of what happens after their meeting and further relationship development. I don't feel satisfied with just ending it here! Stay tuned!


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